When you start asking too many questions and your mom gets suspicious
Mom : Who you been fucking ?
Me:
This is a true story y'all 😭😭😭😭😭
!!!! Details!!!!
Sigh My aunt and my mother ( who are first cousins by the way) came to visit me in Boston this past weekend. So they were in my room chilling and they saw a picture on the wall and my aunt ask who that was and my mother told her that this was my best friend. So my aunt is trying to know who she is and my mother is telling this she’s the daughter of so and so. And she goes ooohhh we’re related to these people.
And if you know Any Haitian people you’ll know that they are related to the whole world. So I’m like 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 ok whatever. And my aunt goes noooo we really are related to those people they have the same last name as my mother and I’m like ✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾
PAUSE
When I was in Haiti last summer I was messing with this guy and he’s my best friends cousin ( their parents are brother and sister and they have the same last name) So I’m like ✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾✋🏾 Are y'all sure And my aunt was like yes and she proceeds to tell me everybody from my best friends family. At this point I’m sweating 😳😳😳😳😳
So I took a piece of paper out and I’m making a tree because I’ve known my best for 13 years and nobody told me shit . I call my great aunt and she’s like yes those people are family and we have the same last name . 😓😓😓😓😓
At this point my mother is starting to get suspicious and she’s looking at me like 😒😒😒. So my mother goes please don’t tell me that you’ve been your best friend brother and I’m like mom chill I just want to know .
So I text old dude Me: Did you know that we are related ? Him: Naaaa that’s not true Me: it’s true I made the tree I called my great aunt it’s true . We are cousins
And this nigga goes
Him: Damn my cousin got some tight ass Pussy 😏😏
Y'all I lost it .
It’s sooooo fucked and I was dying laughing. He really made my day
After I settled down and I’m telling him that this is important this is incest 😳😳😳😳
Me: please take me seriously Him: ok ok lol fine how are we related? Me: we are related because your grand father xxx is related to xxx Him: oooohh you don’t have to worry about that . My grandmother cheated .
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
Me: what 🙃🙃🙃 Him: Yea xxx is not my mother biological father. She got his last name but but that’s not her father . My grandma was having an affair with someone else . Me: 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
i’m babysitting this 4 year old kid today and as his dad was leaving he said “be good today” and the kid responded by saying “dad i will punch you in the leg”
You can get the toughest, scariest, heartless man to crack and get to fall in love and when he’s in love he’s the sweetest, lovable and kindest person in the world just towards you.
